so having a clean closet and streamlined kitchen is great but in order to get here you’re going to have to do more than just go through your stuff and get rid of a bunch of it.
if you’ve already begun the downsizing journey you know what i’m talking about—minimalism isn’t really about the material objects. it’s about how those objects came into our lives, what they mean to us, what they signify, their cultural and social significance or status, the people who they remind us of, our relationships to ourselves, our world, society, our friends, family, lovers (past, present, future), our lifestyle, our ego…
whoa. that just got intense quick.
yep. this is hard ass work. when we begin questioning the material belongings in our life we are actually questioning and assessing our sense of self, of belonging, our cultural and societal assumptions about success, how we interact with the world, with each other, with our egos.
this is not mindless organization of stuff, it’s a restructuring of our perspective and prioritization of the components of our lives.
see here’s the thing, we have been trained to be consumers since the day we were born. there are tv ads targeted at children, holidays & birthdays often are centered around presents, the concept of souvenirs implies you need to buy a physical object to remember a specific experience, and our belongings signal to others what kind of person we are—where we’re from, what we value, what we do for work, for fun, where we are positioned in society, etc.
one of my very favorite professors, rashad shabazz, is a human geographer who focuses on the ways in which space and place interact with race, class, gender, sexuality, etc. he profoundly shaped my education in many ways. one of the most mind blowing moments i had in his class was when he taught us about the fetishization of objects.
no, we’re not talking about sex.
the example he used was an apple product, iphone, ipad, macbook etc. when you see that someone has one of these objects, you are not just looking at a phone, tablet, or computer. it has entirely difference associations and connotations than a samsung or pc. what comes to mind for you? most likely wealth—this person clearly has some access to money. you might also associate things like being trendy, classy, smart, techy, contemporary, perhaps even organized & streamlined.
wait really, all that from the brand of phone or computer? yep. you know it too.
this is partially trained and partially practiced, some of it is coming from apple’s branding & marketing but also some of it is coming from our experience of how people perform with these items. i always think of someone with a sleek leather laptop bag, minimal things in it, sliding out their macbook air at a trendy cafe, wearing nice clothes & slick glasses, settling in to write something profound for their free lance job.
now, there is absolutely nothing about the apple products that instantly create all of this. after all, they may be proficient pieces of technology and useful tools but they certainly do not come with a new life life in a box (hanging air plants sold separately).
we have fetishized apple products, as we have with many other material possessions. we project much more than their physical or tactical uses onto them. this is literally how designers exist and make money. slap a couple intertwined “c”s onto a handbag and it’s suddenly taken on a whole new level of meaning than its leather components.
so what comes up when you’re going through your stuff and trying to decide what to keep & what to part with?
literally everything.
anxiety about money, stress about social status, reflections on our egos and the image we work to project to the world, our relationships to family, friends, food, our body, our home, you name it.
so buckle up buttercup, this isn’t for the faint of heart.
for me personally, the biggest things i came up against were anxiety and stress about money, and ego & image related things.
“what if i get rid of this item, which cost me $25 or $50, and later find i need it? then i’m spending money on it again when i already spent money on it & i had it!”
let’s break this down:
entitlement—you worked to earn money to buy this object it doesn’t just have a monetary value but a working one, you had to work X hours to acquire the money to purchase this item.
projection—i’ve created a hypothetical situation in which future me is now annoyed, perhaps even helpless
fear—i’m assuming that something will happen and i will not be able to handle it
regret—when future me is faced with said hypothetical situation & is rendered entirely helpless & frustrated by the ways in which i am ill equipped to navigate it, these negative feelings will only be compounded by the fact that i HAD a solution but willingly threw it away
assumption—now that future me is in this helpless god awful situation i will have to take even more of my hard-earned money and spend it AGAIN on the same stupid item i already owned because clearly i will not be able to survive the situation without replacing the item
anger—future me is now mad at myself, at capitalism, and my situation, at the item i let go & the new one i have to buy
what item comes to mind? maybe camping gear, a cast iron pot, or winter coat. but what if it’s just a pair of skinny black jeans? a red handbag? a bathroom drawer organizer? a fancy can opener?
we tend to be a tad bit dramatic when it comes to what we “need,” don’t we?
is it possible to survive the situation without said item? could you borrow it? find something similar in a free box? make it yourself? make due with some alternative?
for me, if it was remotely possible to survive without it, i let it go. and i mean, literally survive. that’s why some of my exceptions for non-gifted items that i allowed myself to keep included things to keep me warm, safe, and/or gear for outdoor activities. but the assumptions about regular every item objects that i hardly, if ever, used…well those i had to interrogate and release.
the other big thing i came across was…dun dun dun…my ego. you know what beyoncé said, it’s too big, it’s too wide, it won’t fit…you think she was talking about the ways in which we project the image of ourselves that we want the world to see through our material possessions?
likely not, but a minimalist grrrl can dream.
so perfect example was this beautiful navy and tan floral, short sleeve, floor length shawl. i bought it at a local shop i adore & when i found it i was in the process of restructuring my wardrobe with items that “reflected my style” fully. i picked it up & thought to myself, literally, “this is EXACTLY what i have been going for, this perfectly encapsulates my image & it is SO ME.” i shoveled out $40 on it & felt oh so glorious when i wore it. it was flowy and soft looking, & perfectly nailed the boho, hippy, tossed-together-but -chic look i was trying to emulate.
when it came time to do my final purge and get rid of everything i had bought, i kept stashing this item aside. it’s fine, i thought, i can have one or two items i decide to keep! (& yes, this would be fine, guidelines are just that—guides—not hard & fast, impermeable rules.)
but i wasn’t being honest with myself. this object, this dyed and patterned piece of fabric i draped on my body, didn’t make or unmake my boho, hippy, thrown-together-but-chic-ness. that was my ego squawking.
see the thing is, people who know me know i’m the same person whether i’m draped in floral fabric or donning stained sweatpants & an ill-fitting shirt. sure, i might look better in one than the other, but these clothes do not capture or project the essence of who i am.
i do.
so my incessant, frantic need to cling onto items that projected the kind of human i wanted people to assume i was, was just that—projections & assumptions. i was performing, trying to get people to think of me in a certain way, & yeah i’ll be honest, trying to make them jealous of me. i wanted people to look at my flowy floral shawl, or the painfully hipster hanging plants in my shed-home, or the handmade leather bag i was carrying & think “wow, i wish i had/could look like that.”
i mean, lezzbehonest, that’s the end game here, isn’t it?
yo i warned you, not for the faint of heart.
now i don’t want you to wiggle your way out of responsibility here & assume the people i’m referring to are only high-maintenance, bougie, modern, high tech, city slickers, or what have you. this shit applies to hippies, hipsters, boho chic, gamers, goths, & any other group of which you can think.
the irony of yoga being a multi-billion dollar industry should not be lost on you. neither should the ways in which the green movement still focuses on marketing products, including tote bags or shoes literally declaring that you are saving rainforests or giving poor kids shoes.
instead of simply or fully devoting yourself and your time, energy, and resources to one issue, you want to flaunt that this is what you do. instead of simply being healthy, active, drinking smoothies, & doing hot yoga, you want clothes, accessories, and home goods that literally scream this in everyone’s face.
because here’s the thing about egos—they don’t like to be quiet. & marketers know this.
one of my favorite poets, nayyirah waheed poses the question “would you still want to travel to that country if you could not take a camera with you.—a question of appropriation.” i think the same applies to our material possessions. if you could not flaunt that you donated to help save sea turtles, with say, the newest pura vida bracelet pack—would you still give your money? or is part (or all) of you motivation the fact that it’s a signifier that you do indeed care about sea turtles enough to give out your money to buy something that states it, donates a small percentage of what you paid to actually helping said cause, & then “brings awareness” to the issue by you being able to brag—er, sorry, talk—about your new bracelets, their symbolism, and the damn sea turtles.
now this isn’t to say that if you talk about how much you love running that you’re only doing it to be able to talk about it—plenty of people literally love running. but what does it say about your ego if you spend money to walk around wearing a shirt with some catchy phrase about it? where is the line between pursuing passions, and projecting the image of what that type of person looks like? where is the relationship between identity, possession, and performance?
now the queer feminist in me is screaming to take a break here & iterate that performance of identity can be & is an extremely powerful form of expression. i am in no way trying to demonize people who use outward appearance to signal certain identities or aspects of existence—there is power, beauty, and value in this. what i am encouraging you to do is to interrogate the ways in which you perform, and your motives behind your actions.
(if you are confused about any of this, please take the time to watch “paris is burning” in order to get a taste for the ways in which race, class, gender, sexuality, and the power or oppression of each, are played out on the body, through material objects.)
for me, it was a lot of egotistical bullshit. it was almost fake. i started to realize that one of the ways i was coping with the incongruence between the life i led and life i wanted to lead was by projecting a certain image out into the world, largely through my belongings (& also shoutout to social media, you beautifully hideous egotistical nightmarish beast).
i’ve started recognizing and acknowledging this, & tracking my behavior. one area of my life where i discovered i had a tendency to throw money at objects without having much integrity behind my actions was when it comes to living a healthier and/or more sustainable life. i’m talking about yoga or fitness equipment, healthy kitchen gadgets, fitness trackers, a kombucha brewing kit, and the like. i noticed a trend where instead of doing the work, i just went out & bought something. my reasoning of course was that once i had the object, it would make doing the work so much easier! & in some cases, this might be true. but often times this resulted in more objects sitting idly in the back of my closet of kitchen cabinet, awaiting but never fully actualizing their intended purpose & use. for me, i was putting ego & image before integrity & dedication.
so i practiced yoga for months on a shitty old slippery, plastic-smelling mat before dropping some cash on my beloved manduka travel mat. & currently i’m playing around with seeing how much i use my $2 loose tea ball before i consider buying one of those swanky infuser bottles. because i’ve found that when something is important enough to me, i find a way to get it done no matter what i have at hand. & in this process i tend to learn more, about myself & what i’m practicing.
i also want to take a moment to recognize the ways in which i am privileged enough to be in a position where I’m discussing interrogating & dismantling the societal attribution of power and success onto objects. as a white, middle-class, able-bodied, cis woman i do not have much to prove socially. the way i dress, decorate my home, & the objects i surround myself with do not immediately reflect on my class, race, gender, and ability. if i’m looking disheveled people assume it’s intentional, not because i’m incapable of caring for myself or performing femininity. if i’m dirty or wearing torn clothes it’s assumed they were thrifted, or perhaps even bought from an expensive brand that distressed them intentionally—not that i am too poor to afford new/nice things or that they are dirty from being working-class.
there is a reason that our belongings and our image are so entangled with our ego—& some of this is survival. these societal indicators are real, & they have serious power. i will never shame someone who grew up poor or without housing for wanting a sprawling home filled with nice things. this is something i cannot understand from experience & therefore cannot judge. i would, however, gentle encourage that person to look at the ways in which material possessions run their life, & what they generate for them. it is very possible that their belongings do give them a sense of safety, accomplishment, & belonging, & that is something that i cannot argue with from my personal experience & perspective. the traumas of capitalism run deep. keep this in mind before shaming anyone else for following a different path than you when it comes to their material life.
i hope i haven’t scared everyone off & some people are still reading. i know shit got fairly intense rather quickly, & that this stuff isn’t necessarily fun to think about and work through. what i can promise you though, is that no matter how much you get rid of or how many things you keep in your life, if you start doing the work and asking the questions, you will learn profound amounts about yourself. hopefully it all leads you to living a more congruent, authentic, content, & joyful life.
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