so as i’ve said before, there is no right or wrong, there are no rules, & honestly there isn’t even a straightforward, all-encompassing formula that i could give you to lead you into a minimalist lifestyle. for a long time i didn’t identify as a minimalist, and even now i sometimes question giving myself this title.
because minimalism looks different for everyone, & it should.
if you’ve never checked out the minimalists you should. they are one of my biggest minimalist inspirations. i love their style, their voice, their programs or challenges, & their documentary (minimalism: a documentary about the important things, available on netflix) is one i watch regularly to get inspired.
one thing they talk about often if how minimalism looks different for everyone, and how they have received criticism for some of the things they still own/have in their life. their response is generally that if it brings you joy and/or is useful to your life, keep it.
one example that has really resonated with me & i still carry in my heart was someone who came up to them on their speaking tour. & said that they had been downsizing their life but couldn’t bear to get rid of their books. they said they trade books with friends, talk about books with loved ones, that they love their books, looking at them, reading them, being around them, sharing what they learned in them, etc etc. how, they asked the minimalists, can i be a minimalist & get rid of my books?
their answer: don’t. it sounds like you get a lot of joy & value in your life from your books, so those are something you should keep.
what rings true to me about this is the customization of minimalism to fit each person’s life. i have horses and a barn. this requires a lot of equipment & tools. never would i dream of getting rid of those things, or even getting rid of the extras or certain things in my barn. any farmer or rider can testify to the random objects which have saved their butt, or their animals lives, in a pinch. i have ropes, chains, clips, hardwear, a spare pitchfork, duplicates of certain items, etc. & these are there for good reason, even if i don’t know what that reason is until it hits me—like a tree crashing down on my fence line in a storm.
so all of this to say, in my typically long winded way, these are guidelines that have worked for me, and might resonate with you. but you have to give yourself permission to be the creator of your own story. make your own rules, break them when you need to, and sculpt guidelines that reflect your life, hobbies, passions, pastimes, climate, needs, and family.
set up guidelines
establish a few rules for yourself & how you will determine what you keep. for me, this varied each time i went through my things with the intentions of downsizing further. i’ve used all of these concepts at one point or another but remember to set up ones that work for you, your intentions, and your lifestyle.
the “joy” test
another simple yet profound concept i’ve picked up from the minimalists (& other minimalist folks) is the joy test. it’s simple. pick up an object. does it bring you joy? yes? great, keep it. no? ask yourself why you have it. usually, it is just weighing you down (in every sense of the word).
the “used” test
have you used it in the past month? 6 months? year? if it’s seasonal, keep that in mind, but otherwise if you haven’t touched it, you probably won’t. this leads into…
the “pass-up” test
imagine all of your clothes are clean. now imagine any situation you might be getting ready for—a night on the town, a job interview, work, running errands, going to the gym, etc. what items do you consistently pass up for other items? what are you go-to favorites and what only sees the light of day when you’re way overdue to do laundry? do you think if you got rid of those clothes it would be more likely that you’d be forced to run errands naked, or that you’d get yourself onto a better laundry schedule? stop holding onto the things that you pass up & only hold onto what you reach for to wear.
customized guidelines
maybe you’re trying to move across the country & only bring what fits into your car, maybe you are trying to go from having 12 of each item of clothing to 6 or less, maybe you have storage restrictions, or maybe you’re like me & have felt some intense calling to give away everything you own except what was given to you. whatever your situation or intentions, set up guidelines before going through your stuff because it’s really easy to start making excuses item by item if you don’t have a system set up going into a purge.
watch out for pitfalls
now we’ll get into a few of the pitfalls that i found myself in consistently. these were areas of my life or items that i struggled to part with or attempted to justify with a variety of tactics…
gifts
yikes. now, like with many other aspects of downsizing, we’re getting into life & relationships, not just things. gifts are hard. we feel obligated to keep them because someone went through the trouble of making them, or of working for money to buy them. they picked out the present, they were excited to give it to you, & guess what? you don’t like it, or maybe you do but you don’t use it that often. maybe it gets passed up for other items that you like better, or are more useful. & now you’re stuck with crap in your life that doesn’t hold much value to you beyond the fact someone you like or care about bought it for you. uh huh.
so ask yourself, does this person really love & care about me? If the answer is yes (which like, duh, i hope so) then they would want you to be happy, fulfilled, & not stressed or anxious. they wouldn’t want their gift to feel like a pollutant in your life, clogging up space.
also, how often does someone really ask you if you’re using the gift they got you? maybe right after it’s been given they might ask if you’re enjoying it but even that doesn’t happen that often. & never before have i had a friend call up & be like “hey, remember that *random object* i got you 5 years ago? you still use it? you like it? that working for you?” or how often do they walk around your apartment searching for an item they gave me. honestly, in our culture, we’re so used to material possessions coming & going & giving & receiving that we forget about a lot.
let it go. it’s not a gift if it’s weighing you down.
sentimental objects
i’m guilty here. this is the part i struggle with the most. maybe you have tender memories while wearing a certain sweater, or an old doorknob from the house you grew up in, or pamphlets from some event or concert you went to. you have a couple options here.
take a picture then throw it out—this doesn’t work that well for me but for some folks, it’s perfect.
create a limited space for it—this works great for me. i have a tiny box for each ex of mine, with maybe a small gift they gave me or a note they wrote. these are important to me & don’t take up much space at all. same with a small box i have with my stuff from college
find ways to make it into something else—frame it, make a quilt or tapestry from it (great for T-shirt’s or awards ribbons) anything that you would like to display & see regularly instead of keep shoved away
remember the experiences, lose the belongings—honestly, if it’s in your heart or mind, does it need to also be in the back of your closet? how much of this memory is actually attached to a particular item? do you need that shirt to remember the place or concert? if you can do without the physical reminder, let it go. if you’re worried about forgetting details or events, write them down. journals full of memories are much easier to store than the physical evidence of you being present for each one.
that said, i will remind you of my #1 rule with downsizing & minimalism: be gentle with yourself. i still have a bag of old toys and blankets from a cat of mine that was killed. numerous times i have taken it down from where it lives in my closet and gone to throw it away. each time, i feel nauseous & a wave of panic overcomes me. there is a lot of trauma embedded in her death, & i have a hard time parting with anything related to her (i also had a horrible incident where the majority of my pictures of her were lost off my ipad). this is okay. i will make room for this bag for as long as i need to, & i will not apologize for it.
you do not have to get rid of every single thing you own, & you do not have to do it all at once.
you can justify keeping something by just saying that you need to keep it. that’s fine. for me these were the items that began weighing on me and typically inspired my next big purge, & that was all part of my journey.
design a system for getting rid of things
everyone has heard of the tried and true cleaning system of making three piles: trash, donate, keep. this is a great start but in reality, we often need more piles. i have a few tiers i run through when i set aside a “donate” pile and if i’m not organized when i start my clean out i get easily flustered and confused.
so you’ve got a bunch of stuff you’re ready to give away—great! but not everything is destined for the thrift store.
give away to friends and family—i usually set aside items for specific people—things i think my mom might like, or that fit with the style of certain friends. i either bring these items to individual people, or assemble small groups of friends to go through a pile of give away goodies
consign—now depending on the items, your budget, and how much you like your friends, this might be the first stop for high quality items, or your friends/family might be the first stop. either way, these are higher quality, designer, and/or newer clothes & accessories
thrift store—gets the rest, especially odds & ends, books, household items, clothes etc. make sure they are clean, seasonally appropriate for the weather, & usable. do not use your local thrift store as a dumping ground—if you think it should just head for the trash, toss it & save them on the dump bill.
red cross clothes bins—i usually bring my out-of-season clothes here when the thrift store won’t take them since they send them to a variety of locations & have a much larger sorting system
repurpose—only SOME things, like old t-shirt’s can become rags…& tbh that’s the only example coming to mind right now.
trash—be appropriate with throwing things out, don’t pawn them off on red cross bins or thrift stores. also be responsible with throwing things out, look for electronic trash days & prescription pill collections in your town/county. throwing things out inappropriately can be dangerous & environmentally rude af.
so, having separate piles, bins, bags, etc. while you sort thought things is helpful but you need to remain organized as you go to get rid of things. i would keep a bag of give away goodies in my car for a little & whenever i was with friends would let them go through it. having a gathering specifically for this purpose (potluck & clothing swap anyone!?) is even more successful.
i then would have a day designated to bringing these things to their appropriate resting place. i would start at the consignment shop, then when i lived where i had access to one my next stop was plato’s closet (they’re more liberal with what they’ll take & the money isn’t great but was oftentimes enough for coffee or lunch while running said errands), then whatever was left over from both went to the thrift, and my final stop was the dump.
the key is to commit & to move it. don’t go through bags & hem & haw over each item again, once it’s in, it’s going, period. & don’t let this stuff sit around wasting space & collecting dust, having it designated to get out of your house isn’t nearly the same as having it actually gone.
the key take away points here are to be clear, intentional, thoughtful, & organized when tackling a big purge. otherwise the process can be frustrating, messy, complicated, & ultimately discouraging.
happy clearing!
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