let me go back a little bit and provide some context here about what minimalism means to me, how i’ve been exploring it, and my intentions for its purpose in my life. the story dates back quite a few years, so don’t feel as though i just arrived to this place suddenly and levitated my way into owning so few material possessions. it’s been a somewhat grueling, although amazing, experience & has taken a tremendous amount of self reflection, ego-checking, and work.
to me, it has never been able owning a specific number of things or having one of those super slick pinterest-worthy, all-white spaces. it has been about only keeping what i need, identifying why i need it, and creating a sense of lightness within myself and my life.
it started a few years ago, when i was living in a beautiful condo in burlington,vt, where i went to school at uvm (go catamounts, etc). the condo was a one bedroom, approx. 650 sq ft, with a full bathroom, spacious vanity, washer/dryer in the closet, full kitchen that opened into the living room, and pocket doors into the bedroom. off the bedroom in one direction was a sizeable porch (i was on the 3rd floor) and off the other side was a walk in closet, maybe 5’x5’ with a small 18”x3’ shelved linen area. my dresser fit in there and i had ample shelving and hanging space.
by all means, i had all the room i could ever need & more.
& it was this “& more” that i started to notice, and that once i started to notice, started to weigh on me.
my apartment wasn’t cluttered, & it wasn’t overflowing. there were still a few cabinets in the kitchen that were empty, there was some room here & there in various drawers and on a couple shelves. other than my closets, cabinets, & a chest, i didn’t have much storage. there weren’t shelves hung on my walls or furniture that boasted hidden compartments. by the standards of most american households, i probably didn’t even have all that much.
but holy shit. was it a lot.
i started to catch on in my kitchen. the wall next to my front door had the fridge & stove on it so there was just a small bit of counter between the two appliances, and another small bit between the stove & door. between the appliances i kept my knife block, and next to the door i had my recyclables basket on the counter. & yet what was leftover to counter space in those tiny little bits was where i ended up doing a lot of my prep work & what i used while i cooked—despite having a whole long counter behind me to work with.
i started to notice how i never used more than 2 burners (admittedly, my cooking skills were quite limited at the time) & how i consistently used the same bowls, plates, mugs, cups, pots, pans, and silverwear. the rest of the items just sat around, taking up space, used only as backups when i was way behind on dishes.
i had long noticed how much of my full size fridge/freezer sat empty. again, we’re talking about one person here not a family, so it’s understandable i wouldn’t need as much as more people would. but still, it all started to come together & click for me.
i could’ve done without about 75% of the things in my kitchen, appliance size & counter/cabinet space included.
hmmm.
so i went through my silverwear drawer. some were hand me downs, some from the thrift store, & a full set from ikea. the ikea ones were my least favorite, & i would continuously reach for the same utensils over & over & over. i like my forks a certain size & weight, & especially my spoons. maybe that sounds silly to you, but i encourage you to be conscious of this the next time you reach for a utensil. i can almost guarantee you have favorites.
so why have anything that wasn’t my favorite? sudddenly my silverwear felt frustrating to me. why was i digging through a pile of spoons to find my favorite? why was i hand washing said favorite spoon to use despite having other clean & ready to use options to choose from? the whole thing suddenly seemed entirely absurd.
i was catching onto something.
i have wanted a tiny house for as long as i can remember. before jay shafer’s tumbleweed tiny houses, before dee williams amazed everyone with her 84-sq ft house, before there were pinterest boards & tv shows, before i even knew it was a possibility & long before it was a “thing,” i had a dream of living in a tiny house.
i have always loved small spaces, and felt drawn to this simpler life. i remember as a kid going through my old toys, clothes, & gadgets & cleaning out my room was one of the best feelings in the world. but i also remember the places i would stash boxes or bags of things i didn’t want in my life but also wasn’t ready to let go of, in the back of my closet, tucked under the tablecloth of a bedside table, or everyone’s go-to, shuffled off to the basement to collect dust & mold.
so in some ways my condo, which was certainly the largest space i could ever want to live in, filled with all my crap, made me feel like a hypocrite. it was time for the rubber to hit the road, & for my lifestyle to reflect my plans.
it was time to downsize.
thankfully moving helps this process tremendously, & when it was time to move out of there i knew i had an opportunity for my first big purge.
i had no idea this would be the first of so, so many.
i knew about my move a few months in advance, & if you are also afforded this luxury i cannot urge you strongly enough to start early with this process. there is nothing worse than being exhausted, frustrated, overwhelmed, & making stupid decisions. every move i’ve ever made has ended with one box or bag full of random, disorganized, unnecessary crap i take with me, with far too many things being thrown out that could have been salvaged & donated if i’d had more time, & sometimes with letting go of items out of exhasperation that i actually could have used later.
every night i would take one drawer, shelf, cabinet, or otherwise marked space, scoop out everything in it, and go through it. just one bit a night. every night. for a few months. it was easy enough to do, & i actually started to get a bit addicted.
this addiction would only grow over the next few years.
I’ve continued to observe what i use, & adjust my belongings accordingly. every so often (with increasing oftenness) i get flustered by the sheer amount of stuff in my life, and go through it all for another big cleanse.
every time i go through a big purge, i have certain items I’m on the fence about keeping. typically these are the items that later frustrate me, and lead to the next big purge. it’s amazing to see this cycle of attachement, building frustration, and eventual release.
over the years i have tracked my emotional reactions & this cycle, to the items still in my life, to the items i use, to the items i feel compelled to keep. it has been a fascinating insight into myself, my ego, my fears and anxieties, my priorities, and my lifestyle.
this is part one of a multi-part and ever-unfolding examination of minimalism. i hope you’ll continue to follow my journey as i explain what i did and why, what i learned, and how much i have gained through this whole experience.
hopefully, something in here clicks for you or inspires you. whatever your lifestyle, whatever your criteria, i hope you begin to sift through your possessions and figuring out what’s necessary, what’s important, and what is merely adding clutter to your life. it has simplified and expanded my life in more ways than i ever could have thought possible when i set out on this road nearly 6 years ago.
all of that said, my number one rule is to be gentle with yourself. understand and accept that this is an unlearning, and relearning, ever unfolding process. that you have been socialized and conditioned to place certain value on particular belongings (and/or all of them) and that everyone has a different relationship to money, status, worth, sentiment, and the many other powerful forces that are at play when we begin to dig into our material lives.
if you stick with it & don’t shy away from the heavy lifting though, i can promise the lightness you will feel & the self-awareness you will find is incredible. there are no set rules and there is no set number of belongings you have to pair down to, this is one of those “it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey” things in life. customize it to your needs, desires, hobbies, and lifestyle. this is your journey, so make it work for you & don’t worry about what other people are doing.
happy clearing, ya’ll! may your hearts & lives feel lighter, & yet more full.
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